My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize