its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
