Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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