yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
