Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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