ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
