At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got inside last night via doggy door
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
