Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
