just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
