I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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