Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
