I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
