there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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