I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
