I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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