How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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