I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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