Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
