I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
