he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize