i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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