These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
