This house was built for laser tag.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize