I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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