I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
