Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
