Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We are all done wearing pants today
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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