Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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