i just google imaged poop.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know her cup size but not her name....
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