Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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