we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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