apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
