so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
