i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
