My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
