My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
