i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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