Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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