Sry I called you an 8
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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