I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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