I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
