ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do vagina's smell?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
