; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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