Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
