Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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