Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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