Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
