I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
