Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize