Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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