woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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