people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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