I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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