Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
