Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
