she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
