Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
