how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
