I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
